let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
