She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
