It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
