Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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