i was rollin on her like bob the builder
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
