i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
