drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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