Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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