someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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