Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
