Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
