also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
