Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
