Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
