Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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