My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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