Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
