Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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