peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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