And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
