Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
