"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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