Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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