You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
