Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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