and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
