The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
