Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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