Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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