not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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