Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
