i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
