Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
