please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
