We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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