There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
