It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
