after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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