Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
