I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
