omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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