So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
