we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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