"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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