so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
