i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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