Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
