I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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