i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize