Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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