It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
