Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
