hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
These tits shall not be calmed
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
